Writing a Herman's Dad story requires unusual environmental stimuli. If you have any large electrical appliances that hum whilst turned on, please keep them close at hand. We encourage the following audio stimuli - Whales singing, background noise of hammering and breaking pieces of wood, hysterical crying from neighbours, soft radio hiss or gentle sound of radio emanating from through the wall. Try to fall into a trance like state. Drooling and weeping can help the process. If we feel you have followed these simple instructions, we may publish your story in the next issue of Herman's Dad. Good luck.